(OOC) Memory 4: learning about Reading

[simple_not_boring]

Davian is trying to sense kan, like he's been attempting for several hours; it only takes a few moments this time before he can feel it, like an absence compared to the power of Essence. Malshash -- looking completely different than in his other memories, but the same person -- tells him that he's walled off most of his mind, but left a specific memory open for Davian to see. That memory will become his; all Davian has to do is use kan to will himself inside the other man's mind.

Davian snarks a bit; using kan is hard, much harder than Essence is supposed to be. Entering someone else's mind is an extremely delicate process, and kan is stubborn and slippery to use. But this time he keeps his focus sharp, concentrates, and reaches through kan towards Malshash. He feels a barrier, pushes through it, and completely loses his concentration as he experiences a memory.

Malshash asks him what he saw, and Davian says that Malshash was on the road the other day, passed a merchant who sold him food and ate all the good stuff before he got back. Malshash tells him he got it exactly right, and Davian grins, elated; it's a remarkable feeling, being able to experience someone else's memory and yet knowing it's not his.

Davian asks if they can try again, and Malshash says he'll have to pick a different memory but he doesn't mind. That's not all there is to it, though. He asks Davian whether "the good stuff" Malshash ate was his assessment, and Davian has to think about it for a moment before he says it was Malshash's; he doesn't actually like figs much. Likewise, he couldn't actually assess whether the sky had been clear or whether it had been contrast with the perpetually-foggy city, or even just Malshash's good mood. Even though he experienced the memory much more clearly than Malshash ever would, it's still Malshash's memory, filtered through his mind, with his perceptual biases, and could even change with time.

Davian asks if that means he can't take what he Reads for granted; Malshash agrees, but says that doesn't mean it's totally unreliable. Interpreting memories is a skill he has to develop...but he has to be careful, since once he Reads a memory it becomes his too. Some memories will change him if he isn't careful. He lets that sink in, and then tells Davian that once he's mastered Reading memories there's still the matter of thoughts, which is even harder. Even untrained people have mental barriers around their current thoughts, and Davian will need to learn to bypass those without harming the person. All the powers Davian is going to learn are dangerous in some way; if he just forces his way into someone's mind, they could be seriously damaged or even die.

Davian pales, thinking back to (something in another memory), and asks why Malshash didn't tell him this first; Malshash says he has everything but what he wants to show walled off, so Davian can't hurt him accidentally. He also says that he automatically shields himself from being Read, so Davian shouldn't think he can try anything when he isn't ready. Davian laughs -- he hadn't really been considering that -- but then asks if Malshash has Read him. The other man agrees, which is horrifying, but he says it's only a little now and then to find out what kind of person he is. (He's a good one, in case he was wondering.) Davian's not sure whether to be annoyed or amused, but picks the latter; he says Malshash will have to teach him how to shield himself, then.

Apparently, shielding himself is easy enough, just a visualization trick; he has to imagine a locked box in his mind, with everything he wants to protect inside and anything he doesn't care about outside. This isn't even a use of kan -- it's just a trick to make the mind strengthen its own defenses. Davian is still a little wary, and says that sounds too simple; how does he know Malshash isn't just saying that so he can lull him into a false sense of security? Malshash tells him to use his lie-detecting ability on him to confirm it, but Davian says that doesn't work on shielded people; Malshash disagrees, telling him that shielding can mask it, but his mind is making a small connection to the other person's when he uses that ability, and people know when they're lying deliberately. It might be too subtle for most Augurs to pick up, but the signs can't be hidden completely, and someone with Davian's particular talent should still be able to tell.

Davian asks him to tell him something true, then false, then true again, and Malshash obliges ("I have never met you before", "it's seventy years before you were born", "traveling through the rift is not a risk"). On the second repetition, he gets it: there's a slight pressure headache whenever Malshash lies.* He's not sure whether to be happy that his ability is reliable again (he has the sense that someone tricked him with it and the consequences were bad) or furious that he didn't notice the pattern sooner. He picks the former one, and tells Malshash it works -- though, half-joking, he says that Malshash could be lying about that too for all he knew.

Malshash chuckles, and says that he's not that interested in what Davian's thinking. Davian takes this in good humor, and Malshash says he can't blame him; once he knows about Augur abilities, it becomes a lot harder to trust people who have them. Then he says that nightfall is coming, so they should get back. Davian can't tell the difference, but figures Malshash's been living in the city long enough to know.

He asks Malshash if they're going to keep going with Reading tomorrow, but Malshash says no; Davian grasped the concept quickly enough and they don't have time to master every ability. Tomorrow they're moving on, but they'll revisit Reading if they have time. Davian says Malshash is talking like there may not be time to do that, and he responds that there might not be. He drew Davian here with the ring (he's wearing it, a silver ring with three woven strands) but never meant him to be here for more than a few hours or a day. The natural laws of time will eventually try to assert themselves and Davian needs to be as well-rounded as possible when that happens.

Davian is confused, and Malshash explains that the ring is binding him where he currently is in time. His body has a specific place in the time stream -- that's why a shadow of him is left -- and time is working harder to correct itself every moment he's out of place; eventually it'll find him and pull him back. And they don't want that, because the second passage through the rift will be just as dangerous as the first, if not more so. That's why they're training so hard -- the skills themselves might not help per se, but the broad understanding of how to handle and deal with kan might just save him. He could find himself back in the rift at any time.

Davian, sort of freaked out, asks why Malshash didn't tell him that beforehand, and Malshash says he wouldn't have been able to concentrate on reading theory with that hanging over him. Now that he's actually working, though, it'll make him push himself harder and focus better. So it was for his own good. Davian returns that that doesn't mean he has to like it, and Malshash cheerfully agrees that he doesn't; they finish the walk in silence.

* Islington doesn't cheat about this -- he's actually mentioned several times that Davian has minor headaches when people lie to him, but he's misdirected the reader so far into assuming, like Davian does, that they're due to stress of circumstance rather than an indicator. It's neatly done.



EFFECTS/WHAT HE LEARNED:

* Reading! Basically a big practical infodump of how it feels and what the dangers and drawbacks are. (He'll actually be better at it when he gets the skill back, since he's going to be a LOT better at handling kan. He can tell that difference as well -- even with his current skills, he doesn't have to give wielding kan a second thought.)
* Relatedly, how to shield his own mind, which he's going to be able to do to some extent just by remembering. It's something literally anyone can do, but getting his mental discipline skill back will amplify it like crazy. Still, he'll be able to focus on defense if he needs to.
* He's seventy years in the past and could snap back at any time, which will kill him if he's not ready. Oh, shit.
* ...he's starting to like Malshash a lot. They snark but they're fond of each other, and have a good teacher-student relationship.
* He's super angry about something someone lied to him about, and chagrined that he didn't realize it. But he's also willing to put that aside if the circumstances demand.
* +50 curious